Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
