He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
