i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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