I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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