I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize