So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
