After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
wow bdsm is so cute
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
