Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
