all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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