I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Dear god my vagina.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
