I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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