I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
