Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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