I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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