Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
