bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
