i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
