You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
