Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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