I bet he comes in French.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
