Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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