Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
