I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I lost the right to judge tonight
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize