You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
