Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
