So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
i think i just lost a toe
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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