Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
