Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
