mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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