Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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