Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
That's when you crack a 10am beer
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
