So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
