you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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