I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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