Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
