I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
