it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
This is my gift to your gina
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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