Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
