If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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