somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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