She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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