Screwed.edu
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
