id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
