Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
