if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
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