I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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