We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
