he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
