I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
