Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
