having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
