awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
