hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
