Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
