Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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