she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
