Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize