I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
we're making bets on your personal life
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
